Gaffes and other ambiguities on insurance claim forms have been making us laugh for decades. As a little treat, we've trawled through the archives to compile the ultimate list, which is sure to have you howling with laughter...
"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."
"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."
"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing."
"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I still got him."
"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."
Injuries and other Calamities
"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."
"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
“I pulled into the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket”
Finally, one bemused claimant who was processing his claim after a collision with a cow put the following:
“Question: What was the warning given by you? Answer: Horn
Question: What was the warning given by the other party? Answer: Moo”